Love is in the air.....gag me!

Been awhile since I've written.  Not for lack of material, but lack of time.  I just couldn't wait one more day to post the newest adventure in Bob's life.  Bob has found love.....or lust.....or maybe it's just the fact that the girl hasn't run screaming in the other direction.  Now I have to give props to any girl who can stand to be in his presence for more than 5 minutes.  This in itself is a miracle. For this post we'll call her Lilly. They talk on the phone and facebook quite a bit, and what kind of step-mom would I be if I didn't snoop around a little?  I guess I want to make sure Bob is behaving himself and not overwhelming the poor girl.

Much to my surprise the flirting went both ways!  It was the puppy-love, disgusting, should-be-coming-out-of-the-mouths-of-12-year-olds kind of flirting.  Let's not forget that Bob is 18.  Which brings up the question of why he's still living here?  That will have to be another post though.  I should mention that Lilly is 19.  Yes, an older woman.  Way to go Bob.  Once Bob started telling us a little bit about her my first thought was, 'oh the poor girl must be handicap in some way'.  That's the only logical explanation for her interest in my socially awkward, lanky step-son.  It was time to meet this girl.  Bob invited her over to watch a movie and then to go to a barn dance.  Giddy Up.

As the date approached for their movie and dance night, we learned that Lilly does not drive.  She is a faithful user of public transportation.  Good for her.  Problem is, the bus doesn't run as late as she would be staying.  Which meant one thing....I was going to be the taxi for the night.  Lucky me.  The plan was that she was going to ride the bus to our house and the rest of the evening I'd drive them around.

I have to admit, I couldn't wait.  I had an image in my mind and when she arrived I was impressed at how accurate my mind was.  The one thing I was not expecting though was how SHORT she is!!  Bob is a pretty tall guy....so to see that my 9 year old was as tall, if not taller than Lilly made me laugh.  After spending a few minutes with her I came to few conclusions:

1.  Lilly is a very nice girl.
2.  Lilly is awkward.
3.  This could be a match made in heaven.

She was like Bob in almost every single way.  It's quite frightening.  Bob doesn't drive, neither does Lilly.  Bob lives with his parents, Lilly lives with her mom.  Bob has a dog, Lilly has a .....PIG.  Whoa.  I had pictured a small pot belly pig, or a teacup piggy....but it's actually a 150 lb pig.  Sick!  And the worst part is that the pig sleeps with Lilly's mom!!  Double sick!!  I can't even imagine.  I mean, I sleep with a pig too....but not a literal pig. It was at this point that I was actually a little bit excited to be taking her home later that night....I needed to see the home that houses a pig as a pet.

So after they watched a movie, I drove them to the dance.  After about 2 hours Bob called me and said they were done and needed a ride home.  I picked them up and he asked if I could take them to Walmart to get some goodies.  Sure.  He also wanted to stop at Pizza Hut and pick up a pizza for them while they watched another movie at our house.  Once we got to Walmart I dropped them off at the door and then pulled into a parking space to wait.  Thank goodness for smart phones because their quick trip in was about 20 minutes.  Ugh.  They came skipping out the door, hand-in-hand.  It took all I had not to laugh....or puke.  They were both so giddy and I just sat there wishing that I would have made my hubby be the taxi.  One more stop at Pizza Hut and we were on our way home.  Back to the basement they went to watch another movie.

The hubby and I stayed upstairs for a few minutes to chat about this new love interest.  We sat at the kitchen table laughing hysterically over the similarities and just shaking our heads.  We made a pact that should Bob and Lilly ever get serious, they will not live with us....EVER.  The hubby then said "I think we should start praying right now that at least one of them is sterile....they DO NOT need to reproduce!"  I about peed myself.  It was as though the hubby wanted to make sure I either choked or peed because then he said "can you imagine a bunch of little oompa-loompas with afros running around??"  Oh.my.word!  I was done at that point.  HILARIOUS!

After a movie filled with hand holding and cuddling, it was time to take Lilly home.  The night was eventful, entertaining and sickening.  I learned that I am too old to be staying up that late....especially if it's not for my own enjoyment.  I don't know what the future holds.  They say that there is someone for everyone....and Bob may have found his someone.