What are you doing here?!?

This story is a little out of chronological order...it goes back to the summer before Bob came to live with us. My husband had made arrangements with the egg donor to pick up Bob for his visitation. Bob used to live about 7 hours from us, so it wasn't a real quick trip by any means. My husband and I loaded our two youngest children into the minivan and hit the road about 2am. It was just easier to drive all night while the kids slept. We had arranged with the egg donor prior to leaving what time and where we would be picking Bob up. For whatever reason the egg donor did not want us to see her home and told us we could make the pick up at her parent's house. Ok, fine with us. We arrived at the parent's house at the designated time. We were a little bit early, but not too bad. No one was there. Not to be outsmarted by the egg donor (she is NEVER on time) I had printed the directions from the parent's house to her house prior to leaving on our road trip (thank you mapquest). So after waiting about 20 minutes we decided to drive to the secretive home of the egg donor. My husband went to the door and knocked...and knocked...and knocked some more. Bob finally shows up to the door, obviously having just rolled out of bed. (see, I told you she's never on time). I'm sorry, but with two small children and a very long road trip, time is of the essence. The egg donor comes out the door, yells at Bob to get back in the house and proceeds to yell so loudly...the neighbor's started appearing. She screamed "what are you doing at my house?!?" "you are NOT supposed to be here!" My husband said something to the effect of 'you need to be mentally evaluated...you are unstable at best!' My husband walked away from her and came towards me and the kids who were waiting in the car. I love a good confrontation, but only if I know I'm in the right. This was no contest! She's following close behind the hubby and I stepped up to take over. I was calm and much quieter than her. I told her that we had been waiting at her parent's house for 20 minutes and figured we would save her a trip over there by just coming here to pick Bob up. She kept on screaming that we had no right to be there. Bob was standing in the front window....devastated. It was heartbreaking!! My 3 year old son BADLY needed to use the bathroom and I knew there was no getting inside the house, so I let him spray her driveway. Serves her right.

She stormed back into her house and we could hear her yelling at Bob to get his stuff. We pulled the van out of her driveway and parked on the street directly in front of her house. About 10 minutes later she and Bob reappeared. As they walked out the front door I heard her say to Bob "don't you say one word to them, don't you even look at them!" Nothing like letting your true colors show and allowing your son to see what a beast you are! I about lost it when I noticed her loading Bob's items into the trunk of HER car. She was surely going to 'teach us a lesson' and make us drive back to her parent's house. I rode her bumper the whole way....the hubby and I laughing hysterically and watching her fume via her rear view mirror. Oh it was great entertainment...I'm only sorry Bob had to witness it.

When we arrived at her parent's house, we noticed a vehicle parked in the driveway...one we hadn't seen before. No biggie, just give us Bob and let us be on our way. The egg donor approaches our vehicle with a paper in hand. Lovely...what does she want now? It was a stupid "contract" she typed up...that consisted of ONE line. Yes, one line. It said something to the affect that 'I (insert hubby's name) will return Bob on (date)'. What? No consequence if we DON'T return him? Give me a break. I've watched way too much People's Court sister....this was a joke! So the hubby signed the stupid paper so we could just get back on the road. The egg donor then said "I have witnesses that saw you sign that paper." Ahh...we now know why there was a mysterious vehicle in the driveway. Bravo Egg Donor! Bravo! What a waste of time for everyone. We couldn't help but chuckle. In fact we HAD to laugh about it....it was just so stupid.

The dreaded day of court...

I wish I could forget how I felt the morning of court day. It was a strange mix of excitement along with the desire to throw up. We just happened to arrive at the court house the same time as the egg donor. Of course she gave us the evil eye and Bob was following close behind her. He said hello and came over to give us a hug. It had been a few weeks since we had seen Bob and his excitement was so genuine. As I moved in for my hug, I caught a whiff of the worst body odor EVER. He also looked like he just rolled out of bed. Hair was a mess, wrinkled clothes and stinky....I mean REALLY stinky. I have to be honest and say I am not the fashion patrol for Bob every day...there are plenty of days that I just shake my head and suggest he put on something different (which he never does), and let him know combing his hair and brushing his teeth isn't a crime. I understand that being stinky is part of being a teenager, but for heaven sakes...this was court. I mean, it is very rare to catch me wearing something other than capris and a t-shirt. My hair is always in a ponytail and make-up...well, that just doesn't happen, but I knew to step it up a few notches for court. The egg donor couldn't have put out some kind of effort to make sure her son was at least presentable? This was going to be a good day. Hubby was ahead with an early score: Hubby - 1 Egg Donor - 0.

So we move into the court house to locate our attorney. We introduced him to Bob. Our attorney had the same puzzled yet satisfied expression on his face as he looked Bob over. The attorney pulled the hubby and I aside to discuss the plan, so Bob went and sat with his grandparents. It was at this time I found out I would be testifying. What? Are you kidding me? I really thought it was a cruel joke at first. I honestly thought I was there to be the supportive wife and show my dedication to my husband and step-son. Boy was I wrong. Our attorney prepped me about what kind of questions he'd be asking, etc. I felt like I wanted to barf. It was time for court to start. I had to sit in the waiting area while the egg donor was testifying. I couldn't help being a nervous wreck. Bob and I sat patiently, chit-chatting. His grandparents sat across from us working crossword puzzles. For the most part it was pretty quiet. Then it was my turn.

I got called into the court room. It took all I had to hold back the vomit. I knew I had to keep my composure and try to act natural. I made my way up to the witness stand (I hope I never have to be on one of those again!). Our attorney asked me some pretty routine questions. Of course I was able to answer every one...I knew he wouldn't set me up to fail. Then it was cross-examination time. Boy I felt like I was on an episode of Law & Order. The egg-donor's attorney asked me a few questions...and basically ended up looking like a fool. I can't remember the exact questions but I remember thinking at the time 'did you really just ask that?' 'what does that have to do with anything?'. I guess he just had to ask SOMETHING...even if they were dumb questions. My turn was over...thank goodness! Next it was the hubby's turn. His wasn't nearly as pleasant as mine...they grilled him hard. I felt so bad for him. The egg-donor's attorney totally tried to make him into a dead-beat dad. I was furious! If they could only see this man in action with his kids...how much he loves them. The hubby did great...even though he had a few curve balls thrown at him. I was a very proud wife.

The final witness for the hearing was Bob's grandfather. Now I have to give this man credit. He is probably one of the most sincere, gentle and humble men I've ever met. I haven't had too many opportunities to visit with him, but let's just say we all know who wears the pants in his family...and it's not him. I almost felt bad for him being called to the witness stand. I could tell he had no idea this was coming and had no idea what to expect. I think the egg-donor's attorney decided on it last minute...as a last stitch effort to try and get the judge on her side. The egg-donor's attorney focused a lot on the grandfather's relationship with Bob. How much time they spend together, etc. The final question asked was "if Bob lived with his father, would it change the relationship you have with Bob now?" I know the attorney was fully expecting this quiet man to break down, shed tears over losing a close relationship with his grandson, and convince the court that his world would end if Bob moved away. Instead, the answer was "no, I don't think it would impact the relationship much." Whoa! Did that just happen?? You could darn near see the steam blowing from the egg-donor's ears. Her attorney was completely appalled and walked back to the table with his tail between his legs. Beautiful. Just beautiful. Hubby -2 Egg Donor - 0. I sometimes wonder if the grandfather did that intentionally, knowing Bob would be better off with his dad, or if he was just so nervous...and it just came out that way.

The interrogating was done, there was nothing more we could do. The judge took a short recess and then came back with his decision. We all sat nervously waiting for the verdict. Bob was outside the courtroom looking through a small window in the door. He could see me, but no one else in the courtroom could see him. As the judge announced his decision, that Bob would come live with us, I nodded my head yes to him....indicating we had won. He started jumping up and down with excitement. A rush of relief came over me. We now had the opportunity to help save this young man....to give him a better life and home. If only I knew at that time what I was truly in for...