Been a long time since I've laughed this hard...

This post is about my daughter....and while I would love to put this on my family blog....I figured I better leave it annonymous. Plus, some of my friends may not find it as funny as I did. ha ha

I was sitting in the living room when my sassy 7 year old walked in with a very worried look on her face. She said, "Mom, I think I have a problem." I asked her what was wrong. She replied, "well, you know when you fart and it comes out your butt?" I said yes....now very intrigued and a little bit worried about where she was going with this. She leaned in real close to me and said in a very quiet voice, "I'm not sure why, but my private part just beefed one." I errupted into laughter and couldn't regain control. She just looked at me like I was so insensitive! I was crying I was laughing so hard. I think it was all in the presentation and how she said it. Oh man...gotta love the honesty of little kids!

Phone Tag

I was talking to my dad on the phone yesterday and he made a comment about how he had been playing phone tag with someone. Bob could only hear my side of the conversation and heard me say "oh don't you just love playing phone tag with people?" Shortly after that I got off the phone and resumed what I was doing. Bob looked at me and said "wow, I didn't realize your dad likes to play those kinds of games." (insert confused look from me) I asked him what he meant. He said "you guys were talking about playing phone tag, that sounds fun, how do you play?" I didn't know if he was serious or not. Well he was serious. He had no idea what phone tag was. I explained it to him only to get the '20 ft stare in a 10 ft room' look. I asked him if he understood what I was saying and he said "not really". I just left it at that and walked away.....giggling.

What's a car ride?

A couple of days ago the hubby was making a quick trip to the store to pick up some milk. Not wanting to drag the whole family along, he quietly got dressed and ready to go. Our youngest son who is 4 spotted him and asked if he could go. The hubby agreed. He did not want to take all the kids (who can blame him). As they were getting ready to leave Bob asked the hubby where he was going. The hubby replied "we are just going for a car ride" (not wanting to say store because then all the kids would be asking to go). Bob had a confused, blank expression on his face and after about 30 seconds said "Dad, what's a car ride?" Whoa. The hubby and I looked at each other wondering if that had just happened?!? The hubby spoke real slow and explained what a car ride was. Bob got frustrated and said "that's not what I meant...I thought maybe it was something special." Ha ha ha. I guess the next time I get in a car I'll have to savor the experience. I just don't understand sometimes...

Sweet Freedom!

Bob will be on a train in approximately 30 minutes to go see the egg donor for a week. Hallelujah! I am going to enjoy this week....a break is LONG overdue. Merry Christmas everyone!

Mishaps with a plunger

Last night I about packed my bags and moved out....for good.

It started when our 4 year old came running up the stairs to report the downstairs bathroom toilet was plugged up. The only one who uses the toilet in the downstairs bathroom is Bob. No one else is brave enough to go in there...it truly is HIS bathroom. I told Bob to grab the plunger and go take care of it. He hollers from the bathroom "Hey, I don't think I did this...the water is really brown". Newsflash Bob...that is what happens when turds sit in water for who knows how long. We tell him to just plunge it and get it over with.

Next we hear Bob say "Hey, do you guys want me to rinse off the plunger?" The hubby happened to look down the stairs and see Bob standing in the hallway, plunger in hand with it dripping all over the carpet. The look on the hubby's face made me get up and go take a look. I quickly told Bob to get his butt back into the bathroom and sarcastically said I didn't really want poo-water on the carpet!! I couldn't believe it! I swear, just when you think there could be no more stupidity....SURPRISE!

I told Bob that yes, he needed to rinse off the plunger. I walked away. Trying with all I had to keep my cool. To a normal person rinsing the plunger would mean flushing the toilet and rinsing it in the clean water. To Bob that meant putting the plunger in the sink. I heard the water running and went back downstairs...praying I wouldn't find what I suspected I would. Sure enough...there was Bob holding the plunger in one hand under the sink faucet and WIPING THE PLUNGER OFF WITH HIS OTHER HAND!! There are no words for this. As I write this I feel myself getting angry again.

Note to self: Do not shake Bob's hand....ever.

By the light of the saber...

Bob has a pretty strict bed time because he has such a hard time getting up in the morning. If he wants to read before bed, he needs to do it before 'lights out' time. One night as the hubby was going up the stairs (at about 11:00pm...well past Bob's bed time) he noticed a faint glow coming from Bob's room. The hubby opened the door to find Bob laying on his bed holding his light saber and reading his book. Wow. Desperate times call for desperate measures apparently. Bob just gave him that deer in the headlights look and didn't say a word. He shut off his light saber and closed his book. The door got closed and everyone went to bed. One of these days Bob will realize that putting a blanket, shirt or pillow in front of his door would eliminate the chance of us seeing any light coming through under the door. I'm not going to be the one to share this secret. It's pretty funny how un-sneaky Bob is.

The mother of all gifts

Bob came home from school with quite a little trinket today. In honor of "Vader's" arm break he was awarded a certificate for bravery with the name DARTH VADER printed on it. As if that wasn't good enough he was also given a light saber. That's right...a light saber. To any "normal" teenage boy this would have been embarrassing...but to Bob it meant everything. I'm just glad Dr. Marvin convinced Bob to tuck it away under his coat while walking home from school. There is no doubt in my mind that Bob would have been fighting invisible Star Wars creatures on the way home if that conversation hadn't taken place. So THANK YOU DR. MARVIN. Bob loves his light saber. It's so special to him that he won't let his 4 year old brother play with it. He is also holding his certificate close to his heart because I cannot find it anywhere. I wanted to scan it in for the world to see, but it is nowhere to be found. I assume Bob carries it with him at all times. Thanks to the school and Dr. Marvin for making Bob feel even more "special" than he already is. :)